Rancid Sock

My 'new' cast (I call it new only because it is the most recent one I have received) is beginning to smell like a foot. Not just an ordinary, bad-smelling foot either: a foot that has been sitting in sweat and marinating in cow spit.

For those who don't know, I fractured my wrist a while ago (seems like a year ago) and I was required to wear a regular fiberglass cast for 8 weeks. After that was removed, I received a plastic cast with a 'sock' to go on my forearm — the sock resembles a hand sock-puppet. Anyways, the sock has begun to reek to high heaven, and no number of washes in the washing machine or scrub-downs with soap can satisfy its stench. It is actually rather embarrassing when people sitting in a certain proximity of my arm question, "What's that smell? Is someone burning garbage?" To which I respond, "Probably…" and then continue on my way, trying not to bring attention to the fact it is my rancid 'arm sock' they smell.

At least I'm getting this rotting piece of material off me next week. Perhaps I will have a ceremonial burning for it, where I say a few ceremonial phrases and bow my head before dowsing it with gasoline (maybe I won't use gasoline, seeing it is so expensive — kerosene maybe?) Or even I could put it on a ship built with sticks and send it down a river to plummet off a waterfall. Either one will do, but which sounds better?